How to Piss Off Your Brother
by Arruruchama
Summary: Sometimes, Dipper is just too cute, you just want to make his blood boil! A series of one-shots where Mabel and co. show the many ways to anger Dipper Pines. (Requests closed, sorry. Not much time on hands.)
1. Chapter 1

**Route 1: Blackmail**

This was bad. Really bad.

Mabel was fiddling around the room, completely nervous. Stanford recently bought a new computer. He had also warned the twins NOT to touch it, since it cost him a large dent in his wallet. Mabel asked him what it was for, and Stanford didn't give her a serious reply. What she knew was Stanford was going to use it for 'grown up stuff that will cost her her childhood'. Dipper on the other hand was finally satisfied because he had internet on his side.

Now the problem was quite a bit bad. Well, no. It was very bad. She accidentally clicked on an ad filled with virus. She couldn't resist, there were UNICORNS on the cover!

So, Stan will be coming back from swindling customers by tomorrow evening, and she did not know how to fix the problem. She could ask Soos to fix it for her, but he was staying at his Grandma's house. Wendy doesn't know how to fix it (Mabel asked her to a few hours ago), and surely Waddles can't do it. This left Mabel no choice.

Ask Dipper.

_"But what if he doesn't do it?_" Mabel thought. Suddenly, it came to her. She could use that to get him to work on it.

Mabel grinned mischievously. "Hey, hey Dipper!"

Said brother didn't bother glancing up at her. "What?" He muttered lazily, flipping a page of his journal. Mabel pouted at this response, sensing something that said 'her brother didn't want to talk to her'.

"Oh, nothing!" Mabel said a little too cheerfully, making Dipper give her a suspicious look. Mabel gulped. 'Dang it, Dipper. You know me too well!'

Mabel jumped on him, making him drop the journal. "Ouch! What the heck, Mabel?"

She grinned at him. "Well... You know I love you, right?" She asked. Dipper didn't look too convinced this conversation was staying on this path. "...Yeah?"

"And you're my loving, adorable, baby Dip-Dip, right?"

"Don't call me that."

"I have a favor!" Mabel said immediately. She looked at him with determined eyes. "Well, the thing is... Um..." She said lightly, trying to keep up the mood. Dipper looked at her expectantly.

"IneedyoutofixGrunkleStan'slaptopbecauseIaccidentallyswarmeditwithvirusesandIdon'twanttogetkilledbyGrunkleStansoasmybrotherpleasepreventthisfromhappening?"

Mabel kept her fingers crossed, hoping he'll accept. Unfortunately, Dipper didn't understand what she said.

"Something about Grunkle Stan... Swarmed with virus...?" He said unsurely. Mabel groaned loudly.

"I had Grunkle Stan's computer get infected with a virus." She said dejectedly. "So I need your help to clean them all up!"

Dipper had his mouth open. "What? You know Grunkle Stan said clearly not to touch anything yet!" He reminded. "Why did it get a virus, anyway?"

Mabel laughed cheekily. "Eh..." 

Dipper put a hand to his forehead. "It was the ad with the sparkling unicorn, isn't it?" Mabel nodded hopefully.

"Sorry, Mabel. I don't have anything to do with this, and you have to learn to fix your own problem."

Mabel frowned. "So it has come to this." Dipper blinked.

"What-"

"I knew this would happen." Mabel said as-a-matter-of-fact. "So you leave me with no choice."

Dipper gave her an 'are you kidding me' look.

Suddenly, Mabel took out a picture that Dipper did NOT want to remember. "Oh, no. You can't be serious!" He exclaimed. Mabel devilishly laughed. "If you don't fix that computer, this will go everywhere into town!"

Dipper stayed stubborn. "No! I'm not a child, Mabel. You can't bribe me into doing your dirty work with that." He turned his head away from her.

Mabel faked a disappointed tone. "Aww. Oh, well. At least showing this photo to Wendy will cheer me up." This got Dipper instantly bursting up.

"NO- NO! Fine, okay I'll fix it!" He said quickly. Mabel giggled at this. He was too adorable. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Really, really?"

"Yes, just don't show it!" Dipper responded, almost to the point of small tears.

Mabel hid the photo in her sweater, patting Dipper on the back. "That's a good Dipping sauce." Dipper grumbled, glaring at her as he was walking out of the attic. "You're lucky you're my sister."

Mabel gave him a thumbs up. "Very lucky indeed!"

The photo of Dipper giving CPR to Mermando will always be an effective blackmail material.

* * *

**Requests open!  
**


	2. Route 2: Bathroom Pranks

**Request by: Montydragon  
**

_Let's have somebody hide all of his clothes except for underwear while he's in the shower as a prank. I'm thinking Mabel and Wendy._

__ Nice job so far!__

**Arruru's Response: **

Soeeey fer da late response! I was so busy with school. Anyywaaay,,, sorry if your idea seemed far from what I wrote. I just had to get this done so you wouldn't think I ditched it! Instead of only the undies being left, I had Mabel leave NOTHING! :DDDD

* * *

_**Route 2: Bathroom Pranks**  
_

Dipper sighed loudly, entering the room where he and his twin slept. They had a very long day. With those hell-bent gnomes chasing them all over the place, who would think they weren't exhausted enough as is?

Well, Mabel wasn't. Sure. But Dipper was.

"I don't know how long I can take much more of this mess." Dipper said to himself. He plopped down on his bed, groaning audibly. He eyed the journal he found earlier. What was the purpose of the book? And why did it contain the many unbelievable secrets of Gravity Falls?

"Whoever created this might as well have been serious with this stuff or a plain nut job." Dipper said quietly, flipping the contents in a lazy manner. "But if it weren't for this, we would be having such a boring summer."

For some reason, Dipper felt that this journal contained something he was supposed to discover. If it was hidden somewhere no one would think of finding it, then why wouldn't it be important?

Dipper tossed and turned on his bed. He grumbled. For some reason, he felt… Grubby. Dirty. Eww, that sounded so wrong. "Maybe I just need a shower." He said to himself with a small smile, walking towards the dresser. He took out his night clothes, a blue shirt and gray pajamas. Not like he was planning on heading out at night. He also took his hat off, and walked towards the bathroom in their room.

Mabel ran upstairs. She was sure she will outrun Dipper in the shower.

"I CALL FIRST IN THE SHOWER!" She screamed victoriously, grabbing her own clothes and dashing to the bathroom's door. Unfortunately, the door was locked and she ricocheted off the door. "Oww. Aww, what?" She said disappointedly. There was already someone in it!

Then, Mabel heard humming. It was Dipper! She frowned, pouting even. "Darn it!" She screamed. "Dipper! Lemme in! Let's bathe together!"

Dipper on the other side of the door snorted. "No way. I was here first!"

Mabel stomped her foot on the ground. "That never stopped you before!"

"That's because I always had to beg. You know how cold the shower is at night! No way am I going to let this opportunity go to waste. Hot water, ra ta-ta~"

"Come on, Dip! You can't let me freeze in the shower!" Mabel reminded. "I might DIE of hymotherpie!" She laughed. "Pie."

"It's HYPOTHERMIA. If you want to get in here you're gonna have to beg!" Dipper said in a sing song voice, followed by laughter.

"Oh, no I won't! Mabel doesn't ever beg." Mabel said to herself, walking away from the door. She had to get Dipper for this… Or else she'll be losing to him again!

Unless…

"Hey, Dipper!" Mabel called out. No response.

"Dipper, open up! I need to PEE!" Mabel cried out, pounding on the door.

"Go pee downstairs!"

"But it's stinky in there, and it's about to burst out!" Mabel said with no amount of shame. Dipper audibly groaned in disgust and the sound of a door unlocking was heard. Then, footsteps went back to the tub before the boy's voice resonated from the inside of the bathroom.

"Fine, but be quick." He said, now humming a tune from whatever band he interested in. Mabel grinned in victory.

"Yes, sir, mister Pines, sir." Mabel said to herself, quietly snatching the clothes Dipper had prepared from the counter, and ran off.

"Huh. She took a short time." Dipper wondered, suspicious.

He was in for a nasty surprise after a shower.

"Oh, well. _AAAAAHH WANNA SWEEENG ON A CHANDELIE-ER ACK!_ My throat!"

-  
Mabel waited downstairs, giggling. "Teeheeheeheehee."

Wendy, who was sitting on the chair by the counter, gave Mabel a suspicious look. "Hey there, Mabel. What brings you here?"

Mabel grinned at her. "Well, let's keep this a secret between us, okay?" She said. Wend started to become interested in what was coming.

"Oh? Do tell!"

Mabel whispered her plan to Wendy. After the red head processed the information in her head, she bursted out laughing. "Okay, that plan is pure genius!" She finally calmed down, bro-fisting Mabel. "Hope you don't get caught."

Too late for that.

"MA-BE-L!" A thundering scream from the upstairs' bathroom resonated all over the shack.

Mabel giggled. "SORRY! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! is not responding!"

Wendy laughed.

"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU'LL BE SORRY!"

"Yeah, find out a way to get out of that bathroom without walking around naked, first." Mabel said quietly, grinning in victory.

Who's keeping the hot bath to themselves, now?


End file.
